THE CHOCOLATE CAKE
I crawled out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom. Daylight was flooding into the basement suite through the large living room windows. Oh it looked so warm and inviting. I am going to make a cake I thought to myself.
To the kitchen, dug out the recipe for the one bowl chocolate cake. I stood studying the recipe. Ooops, information overload, but at that time I did not recognize it for what it was….. bad bad bad mistake. I kept on, gotta give my determination a check mark. I cannot remember how many times I had to start over because I couldn’t remember did I add or didn’t I? I was busy and working hard. Finally, I put the cake in the oven.
I left the kitchen to see darkness, I mean pitch blackness coming from the living room windows. What the fuck??????? Well, it is dark out so it must be bedtime. I went to bed. How is thus possible, I got up and made a cake and now it is dark. These thoughts were mulling around in my brain until I drifted off to sleep.
What is that sound? Am I dreaming? It is so insistent, it is not stopping. I cannot handle the sound. I sit upright, I cannot see, I cannot tell if my eyes are open. Why can’t I see? That noise!!!! Am I blind? Shut the fuck up!!!!!! I feel around and my hand bumps into something. I grab it. Somewhere from within the depths of this confusion, I realize the object in my had is the alarm clock. I smash it down on the nightstand, I keep smashing it. I can’t stop the noise. I am frantic. I can’t see. I get out of bed, I use all my strength to smash it. I can’t shut it up. I fumble my way to the bedroom door, I feel for my night club for intruders. I set the clock on the floor, now I line up with the stick… yeah right I can’t see remember, there I am jabbing the stick into the floor, do you think I can find the clock???? I am getting wild, crash the stick goes through the bedroom door. That noise is driving me insane. I rip open what is left of the door. You dumb idiot, turn on a light and then you can see. I feel for the switch, I slide my hand up and feel it move. What!!!! I still cannot see.
Now I am poking at my face, what is wrong with my useless eyes?? Doesn’t take me long and I am wiping something wet off my face. Shut up!!!! The smoke alarm! I take my stick and start jabbing it into the ceiling. Finally, the noise stops. I sit down on the floor I am exhausted. Warm wet stuff is dripping onto my knees. I still cannot see. Lets see I have a brain injury, and now I am blind too!!! Great… just fucking great….. At least it is quiet. The noise is gone.
I must have drifted off. I lift my head and can see bits of light, everything is so blurry. I try to get up and slide back down. I hurt all over. Why am I not in bed? Why is everything so blurry? Why am I so sore? I have no idea how much more time passed. It is much lighter now, I can see outlines of the furniture but everything is still so blurry. I slowly, pull myself up and head for the bathroom. What the hell??? What happened to me? Even with the blurred vision, I see blood, lots of it, my eyes are black and swollen my lip is split open. There is blood all down the front of me. What the hell is going on here?? What happened to me?
I wander to the kitchen, I can see something coming out from all around the oven door. Now what!!!! I reef open the door, inside is a cake pan with burnt crumbs inside. I wonder who the fuck did this!!! Who is playing with my mind? I slam the door, crank on the oven dial so hard I rip it off. Let’s see someone fuck with the oven now I think to myself.
It took a few days for the swelling to leave my face. My vision was back. Now who the hell made swiss cheese out of my ceiling?
Chocolate cake anyone?